While very often the path to resolution of a dispute is circuitous, sometimes it is obvious and direct.  But all too often, those involved in the litigation cannot see it.  This is one way that a neutral can help. To illustrate how this arises outside of the dispute resolution context, let’s consider Jim Averbeck and Yasmeen Ismail’s One Word from Sophia. Sophia’s birthday is coming up.  She wants one thing for her birthday – a pet giraffe.  But she has four problems: her mother (a judge), her father (a businessman), her uncle (a politician), and her grandmama (who is very strict). As she approaches each of them, Sophia tries to frame her “ask” to appeal to each of their mindsets. Sophia presents her case to her mom, the judge, by arguing that giraffes meet or exceed the requirements of federal regulations for health, safety, and fuel consumption.  Her mom says no.  Among other things, she says Sophia’s argument was too verbose. Sophia presents her case to her dad, the businessman, explaining how they could turn a profit by selling giraffe manure.  Her dad says no.  Among other things, he says Sophia’s argument was too effusive. Sophia presents her case to her uncle, the politician.  But before going to him, she conducts an opinion poll of her stuffed animals.  The results show that four out of five respondents support getting the giraffe.  She adds a pie chart and graphs to prove her point.  Her uncle says no.  Among other things, he says Sophia’s argument was loquacious. Sophia presents her case to grandmama while giving her a foot rub.  Sophia starts to speak, but only manages to say “Giraf” when grandmama says no.  And tells her to get to the point next time. But Sophia is determined.  She takes to heart their feedback.  Too verbose, too effusive, too loquacious.  Get to the point.  She shortens her ask to just one word. She approaches all four at once and, with compelling eyes, Sophia speaks from her heart and says “Please.”  And on her birthday, her wish is granted.  She gets a giraffe.  After hugging her new giraffe, she offers up two more words “Thank you.” To her credit, Sophia was tenacious, hardworking, and creative.  But until the very end, she missed the obvious path forward. In some disputes, the parties are so absorbed in the fight that they miss even obvious opportunities for resolution.  But, as an outsider looking in, the mediator, a neutral party, may be able to help the parties find a path forward to resolution. Author’s Note: As a mediator, I am a “forever student” always seeking new ways to help people find a path to resolution in mediation.  As a parent, I have spent a gazillion hours reading books to my children.  Oftentimes, these books teach me new ways to approach conflict resolution.  In this case, Jim Averbeck and Yasmeen Ismail’s “One Word from Sophia” inspired this post. Disclaimer:  Nothing contained herein constitutes legal advice nor does anything contained herein create a professional relationship. Mediator Insights - Don't Overlook the Obvious The post Mediator Insights: Don’t Overlook the Obvious appeared first on Sylvia Mayer Law.

In the world of dispute resolution and mediation, everyone has expectations.  Sometimes those expectations are basic or practical.  For example, parties expect to know when and where to be for the mediation.  Parties expect the mediator to address the process and ground rules for the mediation.  They expect to have an opportunity to explain their side of the dispute in the mediation. But some expectations are tactical and may be impractical.  Often, parties start a mediation focused on their “win.”  They may have come to mediation with the expectation that they could convince the other side to give them that win.  Or they may have come to mediation with the expectation that they could use the process to bully or coerce a favorable settlement from the other side.  Perhaps they came to the mediation with an expectation that they would not settle the dispute. Whatever their expectations may have been, an important part of mediation is helping parties leave their expectations at the door.  When they do so, they become receptive or open to new opportunities for resolution. To illustrate, let’s consider Mo Willem’s The Pigeon Will Ride the Roller Coaster! The pigeon is exuberant!  The pigeon is about to go on their first roller coaster ride.  The pigeon is practically and mentally prepared.  The pigeon has a ticket.  The pigeon knows there will be a long wait.  While waiting in the very long line, the pigeon goes through mental gymnastics imagining the loop-the-loops, the fear, the dizziness, and the thrill of it all.  The pigeon knows it could be scary.  Or glorious.  Or might make them nauseous. Finally, it is the pigeon’s turn.  Excitedly, the pigeon climbs into the roller coaster cart.  The cart begins to putt-putt around the track.  Putt-putt.  Putt-putt.  Putt-putt.  There are a few very small inclines and drops – bumps really along the track.  No loop-the-loop.  No scary parts.  For a moment, the pigeon is disappointed.  But then, the pigeon lets go of their expectations. At the end of the track, the roller coaster attendant asks the pigeon if they’d like to ride again.  And the pigeon responds exuberantly “You bet!” Once the pigeon let go of their expectations, they enjoyed the ride. There are many parallels between this story and mediation.  Mediation can be a roller coaster.  Mediation can involve long waits.  Mediation can be thrilling or scary depending on your circumstances and what is at stake.  But in the end, one thing that all mediations that end in a resolution have in common is that both parties, at some point in the process, left their expectations at the door. Author’s Note: As a mediator, I am a “forever student” always seeking new ways to help people find a path to resolution in mediation.  As a parent, I have spent a gazillion hours reading books to my children.  Oftentimes, these books teach me new ways to approach conflict resolution.  In this case, Mo Willems’ “The Pigeon will Ride the Roller Coaster!” inspired this post. Disclaimer:  Nothing contained herein constitutes legal advice nor does anything contained herein create a professional relationship. Mediator Insights - Leave Your Expectations at the Door The post Mediator Insights: Leave Your Expectations at the Door appeared first on Sylvia Mayer Law.

Never underestimate the power of being present.  This is true in all interactions and particularly true in mediation.  In mediation, often the power of presence can unblock the pathway to resolution. To illustrate, let’s consider Cori Doerrfeld’s The Rabbit Listened. Taylor has a box of building blocks.  Taylor works hard and builds an amazing, special and expansive structure.  Then, whoosh, a flock of birds knocks it down.  Taylor is devastated. The chicken is the first to notice.  The chicken runs over and says let’s talk about it, but Taylor didn’t feel like talking. Next, the bear comes and says let’s shout and roar about it, but Taylor didn’t feel like it. Then the elephant comes and says let’s remember exactly how it was so we can rebuild it, but Taylor doesn’t want to remember. Others follow.  The hyena wants to laugh about it.  The ostrich wants to hide and pretend it didn’t happen.  The kangaroo wants to throw it all away.  The snake wants to knock down someone else’s structure. But Taylor didn’t want to do any of these things, so they all left.  And Taylor was alone. Then, very quietly, a rabbit came.  The rabbit didn’t say anything.  The rabbit sat next to Taylor.  The rabbit waited.  And waited.  They sat in silence. Then Taylor began to talk, then shout, then remember, then laugh, then work through all of the other suggestions.  The rabbit sat with Taylor the whole time. Then, having worked through all of these emotions and options, Taylor announced with excitement it was time to build again.  And it would be amazing. Do you know what the rabbit did to help Taylor move forward and find the path to resolution for Taylor’s problem? The rabbit was present.  Sometimes what we need most is for someone to simply be present while we process our emotions and our options.  Being present is often the key to unblocking pathways to resolution in mediation. Author’s Note: As a mediator, I am a “forever student” always seeking new ways to help people find a path to resolution in mediation.  As a parent, I have spent a gazillion hours reading books to my children.  Oftentimes, these books teach me new ways to approach conflict resolution.  In this case, Cori Doerrfeld’s “The Rabbit Listened” inspired this post. Disclaimer:  Nothing contained herein constitutes legal advice nor does anything contained herein create a professional relationship. Mediator Insights - The Power of Presence The post Mediator Insights: The Power of Presence appeared first on Sylvia Mayer Law.

In mediation, it is important to pause and take the time to think. Think before you speak. Think before you react. Think before you respond. Think before you reject. Think before you decide. Use that time to think about your needs, instead of your wants. Use that time to think about a settlement’s intrinsic values, such as closure, ending the distraction and stress, and cost reduction. Think about the other side’s perspective and the strengths and weaknesses of their case, then candidly re-examine your own and your settlement options. Once you have taken the time to think, then engage. You may just find that you are on the path to resolution. Disclaimer:  Nothing contained herein constitutes legal advice nor does anything contained herein create a professional relationship. MMM - Think The post Mayer Mediation Minute: Think appeared first on Sylvia Mayer Law.

Emotions can run high in mediation.  When that happens, the best solution is to breathe. Just breathe.  Breathe in.  Breathe out. Taking that moment to calm yourself can help you move forward in the mediation.  So, when you feel the emotions building, just breathe. Inhale.  Exhale.  Repeat. Take a breath before you speak. Take a breath before you react. Take a breath before you respond. Take a breath before you reject. Take a breath before you decide. This is true for the parties.  And their attorneys.  And the mediator. So, remember, when emotions run high, stop, breathe, and then enage. Disclaimer:  Nothing contained herein constitutes legal advice nor does anything contained herein create a professional relationship. MMM - Breathe The post Mayer Mediation Minute: Breathe appeared first on Sylvia Mayer Law.

Candor is being open, honest, and frank. Candor is an important ingredient in mediation. Be candid when you have a pre-mediation call with the mediator. Be candid when weighing the strengths and weaknesses of your case. Be candid when you are exploring settlement options during the mediation. Candor is the best way you can help me, as mediator, help you in a mediation. Candor may just open up new pathways to resolution. Disclaimer:  Nothing contained herein constitutes legal advice nor does anything contained herein create a professional relationship. MMM - Candor The post Mayer Mediation Minute: Candor appeared first on Sylvia Mayer Law.

 Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Filings Increase 83% Y/Y in February 2023  based on article in Monitor Daily. See  https://www.monitordaily.com/news-posts/chapter-11-bankruptcy-filings-increase-83-y-y-in-february/Jim Shenwick, Esq.  917 363 3391  jshenwick@gmail.comWe held individuals & companies with too much debt!Please click the link to schedule a telephone call with me. https://calendly.com/james-shenwick/15min

Are You Ten Years Out of School and Still Struggling with Student Loans? Recent student loan policy changes by the Biden Administration can help people still struggling with student loans. These are new rules making it possible to discharge your student loans in bankruptcy.  In bankruptcy, you can clear your federal student loans if you […] The post Ten Years Out of School and Still Struggling with Student Loans? by Robert Weed appeared first on Northern VA Bankruptcy Lawyer Robert Weed.

Are You Ten Years Out of School and Still Struggling with Student Loans? Recent student loan policy changes by the Biden Administration can help people still struggling with student loans. These are new rules making it possible to discharge your student loans in bankruptcy.  In bankruptcy, you can clear your federal student loans if you […] The post Ten Years Out of School and Still Struggling with Student Loans? by Robert Weed appeared first on Northern VA Bankruptcy Lawyer Robert Weed.

Filing for bankruptcy can be a daunting prospect, and some debtors might think a debt relief program is preferable. But is it necessary in New Jersey? Do you need to complete a debt relief program before you can file for bankruptcy? You don’t need to complete a debt relief program before filing for bankruptcy in New Jersey. You can choose to do so, provided your creditors agree, but there are no guarantees that a program will allow you to tackle your debt in its entirety. There are many debt relief programs to choose from, each with different requirements and outcomes. If you decide your debt relief program isn’t beneficial, you can then file for bankruptcy. Generally, this is the best choice for many debtors, as bankruptcy is a legal process done in court that can help debtors regain their financial stability. For a free evaluation of your case, contact the New Jersey bankruptcy lawyers at Young, Marr, Mallis & Associates by calling us today at (609) 755-3115. Is Completing a Debt Relief Program Necessary Before Filing for Bankruptcy in New Jersey? Completing a debt relief program isn’t required before you can file for bankruptcy in New Jersey. However, engaging in alternative debt relief methods might help you avoid filing for bankruptcy if that interests you. If you are dealing with overwhelming debt and are unsure what to do next, completing a debt relief program may allow you to restructure your debt and prevent bankruptcy. These programs can be completed out of court, between a debtor, our Cherry Hill, NJ bankruptcy lawyers, and a creditor. Depending on the type of debt relief program a creditor is willing to engage in, you might be able to reorganize your debt, reassess interest rates, or even erase a portion of your debt to make it more manageable. Some companies offer debt relief services to debtors in New Jersey and claim to be capable of negotiating with creditors to reduce debt and avoid bankruptcy. Unfortunately, working with these companies might lead to futile negotiations with creditors and result in you owing more than you previously did. If you are interested in completing a debt relief program to organize your finances and make your debt more manageable, it is best to do so with our attorneys. Our lawyers have experience dealing with creditors, identifying which type of debt relief is best for debtors, and knowing when it is time to move forward with bankruptcy if a debt relief program is not progressing as it should. Kinds of Debt Relief Programs You Can Complete in New Jersey There are several kinds of debt relief programs debtors can engage in to better manage their finances and avoid additional problems. These programs vary substantially in procedure and outcome and might not be preferable to bankruptcy, depending on your situation, A common type of debt relief in New Jersey is debt consolidation. This process involves consolidating unsecured debts, like credit card bills, resulting in a singular monthly payment. While this might make meeting your payments more manageable, debt consolidation might also prolong the amount of time you are in debt. Debt consolidation differs from debt settlement in that no debts are erased to help you repay creditors. Credit counseling, another debt relief program, involves making a plan forward based on your current finances, debt, and income. With debt management, you may be able to negotiate a lower interest rate with creditors, although this is not always successful for debtors. In a debt forgiveness relief program, creditors might agree to lower the amount you owe if you can pay a large lump-sum payment. That said, this option is rare as creditors typically want a return on all money lent to a debtor in New Jersey. Many debt relief programs, from debt settlement to debt forgiveness, can have drawbacks. Creditors might decide they no longer want to complete a debt relief program, or debtors might realize that they are being misled. Consolidating debts in exchange for a lower interest rate might not have much impact on monthly payments, making debt no more manageable for debtors. Will You Need to File for Bankruptcy After Completing a Debt Relief Program in New Jersey? If you entered into a debt relief program and then determined you were not benefiting from that program, you can exit it and choose to file for bankruptcy in New Jersey. In reality, filing for bankruptcy from the get-go may be the best straight line to financial security for debtors, rather than completing a debt relief program. Debt relief programs are not always entirely successful. Even if you have been able to repay some of the debt you owe via a debt relief program, you might still be struggling. Our attorneys can assess the details of your debt relief program to determine if it is actually beneficial to you. If not, we can help you file for either Chapter 7 or Chapter 13 bankruptcy in New Jersey, depending on your income and other financial information. Debtors engaged in debt relief programs are not prevented from filing for bankruptcy in New Jersey. Based on the type of bankruptcy you file for, you may be able to address all of your debt sooner than you would have in a debt relief program. For example, Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which involves liquidating a debtor’s assets, takes an average of four to six months to complete. It may be several years into a debt relief program that you realize you are not gaining traction or that a creditor changes their mind about their participation. While Chapter 13 bankruptcy can take a few years, it provides a clear path forward that is approved by our attorneys, creditors, and the court, making it a preferable choice to many debtors over engaging in debt relief programs that can’t offer the same security. Ask Our New Jersey Attorneys About Debt Relief Through Bankruptcy For a free evaluation of your case, reach out to our East Brunswick bankruptcy lawyers at Young, Marr, Mallis & Associates by calling us today at (609) 755-3115.